Tiffany Dawson, 27 years old
For my 23rd birthday, my then-boyfriend woke me up at 1 AM, drunk and excited to give me my "amazing birthday present": a light-up bottle of Vodka that flashed 'Happy birthday, Lindsay' that he got for free from an event he attended. Did I mention I hate vodka? At the time, I felt so incredibly validated and excited for what the future could hold. I made it through that terrible experience and was brave enough to walk away from someone I knew wasn't right for me. I knew in my heart-of-hearts that choosing myself would open me up to meeting the person who knew dating someone who has been single for a long time value, my worth, or hell, at least knew I'm a fan of extra dry dirty gin martinis.
For her, the transition from being completely independent to having someone around is a huge adjustment. Having someone to do things with will be foreign at first, and she might opt to continue certain projects alone or hole up in her apartment to binge watch her favorite Netflix shows when you wish she was spending time with you instead. She has protective walls in place. She wants to be vulnerable, but it takes a little more time. This is also why she makes a great girlfriend, because she wants to date you despite having her life handled on her own. Andrea Wesley Andrea is a Thirty-Something freelance writer living in the suburbs of Vancouver, Canada with her ridiculous ginger tabby, Jagger. She first discovered her passion for writing at the age dating someone who has been single for a long time 10 when she began filling notebooks with poetry. She's a cliche lover of wine, sushi, all things Parisian and spiking her coffee with Baileys.
Girls who have been single for long periods of time have trouble adjusting to suddenly sharing a life with someone. Maybe you notice how nervous she is meeting your family. Or how quiet she is in the car when you take her hand.
Dating someone who has been single for a long time
More about dating someone who has been single for a long time:
Face it, you're set in your ways. You've been living alone for years, and you've become accustomed to not having to accommodate anyone but yourself. This doesn't mean a happy, healthy relationship isn't possible for you. It just means that you might have to pause now and then to consider your actions and reactions as you wade into a new lifestyle. In one respect, starting a new relationship after a long time alone can be a lot like getting involved again right away — it's still your first relationship dating someone who has been single for a long time a bad one, so a lot of the same concerns apply. Although it's possible that you parted ways with your ex with an amicable handshake, you might be carrying some unresolved emotional baggage. Try your best to leave your old relationship behind, preferably behind a locked mental door.
I was single for a very long time before I got together with my current boyfriend. And when I say "a long time," I mean practically forever. I had gotten to a point where I preferred my own company to socializing. I lived alone with two cats, and I could have things the way I wanted them. I only had to consider myself, and dating someone who has been single for a long time needed to check with someone if I was going to be home late or if I wanted to make it a pantsless-pizza-Thursday. I got really good at being by myself, and being alone was when I was most relaxed. Then I met the boyfriend, and suddenly someone else was in the mix — someone else I now had to consider.
We all have that one girlfriend who has been single for as long as the universe has existed. Every friend group has one! Being single for too long has rendered you independent and fearless, someone who rides solo like a boss! Suggested read: 10 reasons why travel trumps having a boyfriend. Image source. She has been single by choice.