matchmaking jewish tradition

Constance Torres, 31 years old


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From Orthodox Jewish dating customs to Jewish wedding customsthere are many traditions that have been in place in the Orthodox Jewish religion for centuries. Singles seeking out their beshert, their soulmate, may use a traditional shidduch system, which involves a personalized matchmaker who will delve into the background of each of the Orthodox Jewish singles, to Jewish singles web sites, trips and events. Either system one in the Orthodox Jewish dating world wishes to use, once they come to the place of their happy engagement, the man and woman who will matchmaking jewish tradition be joined as one may want to know some of the traditions that have to do with their upcoming day. One important custom is the ufruf, which is Yiddish for "calling up. In the Ashkenazi Orthodox Jewish tradition, the ufruf ceremony takes place on the Shabbat before the wedding.

Matchmaking is an ancient tradition, central to Jewish culture. In Hebrew it is referred to as Shidduch and is considered a mitzvah commandment. Traditionally, any member of the community could and often would try his hand at matchmaking, thus becoming a matchmaker or shadchan. Often, when the amateur matchmakers mothers, family members, friends, etc … failed to succeeda professional shadchan would be hired. At a time when contacts between young Jewish boys and girls were restricted if not forbidden, this community involvement ensured that every Matchmaking jewish tradition single of marriageable age would find a mate so the community would survive and eventually grow. However in Ultra-Orthodox and Orthodox Jewish communities, where contact with the opposite sex is still limited outside the family circle, matchmaking remains a vibrant activity and, as in the past, the entire family and professional matchmakers can be involved in the process. In these closely-knit communities, matchmaking often starts with a personal recommendation.

This year marks the 50th anniversary of the Broadway production of "Fiddler on the Roof. Four Broadway revivals and one successful film adaptation later, the story of Tevye and his daughters remains alive in popular culture. Based on the book by Yiddish master storyteller Sholem Aleichem, Tevye attempts to preserve his family and Jewish traditions while outside influences threaten to derail all he knows. Much of the preservation begins with marriage, and a matchmaker is one of the most important and powerful members of the community. Still today, the matchmaker holds a special role.
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Religious faith has long held a strong link to matchmaking and arranged marriage. In Jewish tradition, Matchmaking jewish tradition was the original matchmaker, creating Eve out of Adam's rib so that the two could share company and procreate [source: Kadden and Kadden ]. Therefore, matchmakers held a prominent position in Jewish history. Fathers customarily bore the responsibility of selecting adequate grooms for their daughters and might request assistance from a local matchmaker, or shadchanto seek out an eligible bachelor. Matchmakers may then team up with rabbis to pair young men and women in the community, something that still takes place in orthodox communities. The Torah dictates payment to a shadchanbut that doesn't always happen; some Jewish matchmakers will refuse to accept any remuneration, considering it their divine calling they pursue as a form of charity [source: Sherwood ]. Similar to secular professional matchmakers, Jewish shadchans might inquire around to find out about a young man's character, personality, religious observance, family and professional prospects before proceeding with the fix-up. Jewish matchmaking focuses more on shared family background and kindred morals than romantic attraction, and, likewise, the relationship-building is reserved for the post-nuptial years. For that reason, once the preordained couple meets, they aren't expected to carry out an extended courtship, and the young man may pop the question after only a couple months, if not sooner. In Southeast Asia, arranged marriage remains a common customand the family often functions as matchmaker.

matchmaking jewish tradition

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